


The Wedding Show! Episodes 4-6

by Casey (nic)



Series: The Wedding Show [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, Humor, M/M, Reality TV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 22:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7242160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic/pseuds/Casey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time to meet the wedding planner!  Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Welcome to this week's episode of Marry Me!"  The music played while the audience cheered.  "A few weeks ago, we asked our remaining couples to choose their very own wedding planner.  Today, they're going to meet the wedding planner, and choose the theme for their wedding."

Images flashed on the screen of the various couples debating over the files.  Jared and Jensen were particularly highlighted (in retrospect, it was obvious why).  But as they watched the monitors backstage, it was difficult not to get a little nervous.  They'd been on the show long enough to know that extra attention meant an extra surprise, and not always in a good way.

"Jared and Jensen, come on out!"

Jensen always found the live shows more intimidating.  Jared, however, loved them, and from day one had worked the crowd like a natural.  Jensen was watching and learning from him, putting his mind into "acting" zone and hopefully slipping into a gregarious persona.

They both waved and cheered, noticing that already the audience was a little louder than the previous two weeks.  Apparently they were picking up fans already. 

"Tell me, boys, what were you looking for in a wedding planner?"

Jared, as always, took the lead.  "Well, we figured we're the least conventional couple on the show," he began, and the audience began chiming in with, "Noooooo!" 

"It seems our audience would disagree," bubbled Gretchen.  In an instant, Jensen figured out why.  There were rumours going around that Natasha and Clint were government plants, or highly paid assassins, and both Jack and Ana-Maria continued to insist that yes, they were actual 21st century pirates.  Jack even claimed he was Captain of a ship, only he couldn't remember where he'd parked it.

Chuckling, Jared went along with the stage banter.  "Okay, we're one of the less-standard couples on the show, so we decided on a wedding planner who could think out of the box."

"Jensen?"

He took a deep breath.  "Misha's profile just seemed the most fun - a wedding planner who’s done a whole bunch of other things - and if it turns out she isn't up to it, then I know that I can rely on Jared to help me get this done."

"Awww," cooed the audience as they smiled at each other.

"And she designed her own wedding dress, which we thought we might need some help with, given that I'm not sure either of us have the hips for it," quipped Jared.

The picture in question flashed up on the screen behind them, and the audience laughed.  Jared and Jensen didn't have a chance to look around before Gretchen said, "Well, boys, no sense in keeping you waiting any longer.  I would like to introduce you to the fabulous and talented Misha Collins!"

Lights, music, and a very male wedding planner stepped onto the stage.

"Hello!" he introduced himself, first shaking Jensen's hand, then Jared's.  "Surprised to see me?  I heard that you thought Misha was a woman - I don't know if that's a good sign for our relationship or not, given that you're judging even before you met me...."

"But...but...we saw your photo!  Your wedding photo!"

Misha smirked at them.  "Such conventional thinking."  The photo appeared on the big screen again, this time in colour, and it became apparent that yes, it was a photo of a man in a wedding dress.  "The question is, would you like me to design the same for you?"

"I'm not sure yet," and an evil glint appeared in Jared's eyes.  He positioned himself behind Misha and put his hands on his hips.  "Just trying to figure out what size you are." 

"Oh, I see where this is going."  Misha bent forward and pretended to tie his shoelace.  He thrust his hips back.  The girls in the audience screamed.  Jensen facepalmed.  And Gretchen cut to commercial. 

\---

Jensen was nervous.  He stood in a line between Lee and Xander, with all of the other remaining competitors from the East side of the house.  Their other halves had been whisked off early in the morning and the rest of them told to spend the time designing colour schemes for their weddings.  (He didn't think anyone actually did it, at least, none of the guys had bothered.  Blair and Lydia had spent most of the morning giggling together; maybe they had actually tried.) 

(Or maybe they were plotting to take over the world.  Anything was possible with those two.)

"Well, contestants, how did you feel today all on your lonesome?" Gretchen asked.  "Did you miss your true loves?"

"Yeah, we missed them so much," said Lydia with a completely straight face.  The sarcasm was lost on Gretchen who continued with, "Don't worry, you'll be reunited soon enough.  Your other halves have spent the day preparing something very special for you."

"A cake?" guessed Xander.

"A rum cake!" added Jack.  He was already unsteady on his feet, Clint reluctantly propping him up.  (Despite the animosity between them, Clint was actually a good guy.)  He and Jack had been downing shots in the kitchen that afternoon, since they'd been expressly told they weren't allowed to leave the premises.  Jensen had been kinda bored and considered joining in but now he was glad he hadn't. 

Gretchen gave Jack a dirty look.  "No, Jack-"

"Captain Jack!" he interrupted.

She gave a world weary sigh. "Captain Jack, no."  Rolling her eyes at the cameras, she said, "Can we cut that bit?" 

The director yelled cut, they re-set, and Gretchen told them to be a little more enthusiastic this time.

"You want bubbly cheerleader?"  Despite being a gymnast and trained to be peppy, Payson had some of the best deadpan deliveries of all of them.   "I don't think I can actually do that, but I can throw in a cartwheel if you want?"  It was one of the skills that had got her onto the show.

"I can do cartwheels too!" insisted Jack, and promptly fell on his head.

Jensen had his own acrobatic skills but he thought it was wisest to not mention them just now.  Or ever. 

"Rolling!" called the director.

"Your partners have been working with your wedding planners to plan for each of you a very special date."  Just like that, Gretchen's perkiness was back.  She was a better actress than Jensen gave her credit for.  "We realised that with all of the challenges lately, there hasn't been a lot of time for romance.

Someone gave an embarrassed cough, and without even looking, Jensen knew it had to be Xander.  (To everyone's surprise, Xander and Cordelia actually had a 'thing' going.  However, there was an active betting pool on how long it would last and most people gave it a week, maybe two.)

"So we asked your partners to plan out a dream date, and take you on that this very evening!"

A dream date?  With Jared?  That already sounded decidedly, well, un-fun to Jensen.  There was nothing worse than forced romance and glancing around at the other competitors, he could see that most of them agreed.  Only a couple of the girls actually looked enthusiastic, although Blair was already muttering that she had to go get changed into something more appropriate.

"We gave each person a budget and they had only a few hours to pull together something special for you.  And let me say," Gretchen smiled conspiratorially, "some of your partners went above and beyond the call of duty to plan something truly spectacular."

Blair was still smiling expectantly.  Of course she was, there was no way Chuck would plan anything but the best.  And they'd managed to choose a 'normal' wedding planner.  Not that Jensen regretted his choice, but he'd seen firsthand what happened when Jared and Misha got together and there was a good chance they'd spent the day in an epic prank war rather than actually getting anything done.

Gretchen pulled a stack of carefully folded envelopes out from behind her.  "Here is your invitation, with instructions on what to wear, and what time to be ready.  Your dates will pick you up soon!"

Opening the envelope with trepidation, Jensen was quickly relieved.  "Jen," it said, the words scrawled across the page, "Apparently I have to take you out to dinner.  Dress nice."

That he could do. 

An hour later, a limousine pulled up in front of the house and Jared popped out, also dressed in a tux.  "Mr. Ackles, are you ready for one of the best nights of your life?"

He handed Jensen a glass of champagne, and to hell with it, Jensen decided.  "Let's do this!"

The car took them on a meandering route through LA, to a decidedly nondescript location.  The restaurant was small, Jensen noted thankfully, and while the camera crew would certainly draw the attention of other diners, they shouldn't have too many gawkers staring through the windows.

"Don't worry, Jen," Jared reassured him as he offered his arm in escort.  "Cameras are totally discreet tonight.  We have to still wear mikes, but they'll be shooting us from the kitchen.  We can totally forget they're there."

They walked into the obviously sophisticated restaurant.  Small tables, music softly playing by a live pianist, and well-dressed couples conversing quietly.  The maître d' bowed as they entered and shepherded them to a quiet table in the corner.  A single candle burned, alongside a rose, which Jared scooped up and presented to Jensen.   "For you," he murmured, batting his eyelashes.  "I want to make this a night to remember!"

The menu was ostentatious, the wait staff even more so.  Jensen was no stranger to fine dining but it certainly wasn't his preference.  Still, this was what Jared had planned for him and he was going to do his best to enjoy it.  They ordered more champagne, an exotic starter to share, and Jensen allowed himself to be drawn into conversation.

"So this is your idea of a romantic date, huh?" he couldn't help but say.

"I'm just following directions," Jared answered.  "The girls may have offered me a few tips on this."  He gave Jensen a meaningful gaze, which by this point was their own personal shorthand for, "Play the game."  They were on a winning streak but challenges like this, where they had to create and show the romance?  It wasn't so easy.

"So tell me about your day," Jared offered, starting with standard date conversation.  The music played as Jensen answered the question, attempting to infuse his words with depth and meaning, inasmuch was possible when describing the antics of the other housemates. 

Soon, Jared was chuckling and offered up his own stories.  "Misha was horrified that I wanted to drive you to the restaurant myself, he said that I may as well show up in my grandmother's car if that was my idea of a dream date!"

Chuckling, Jensen replied, "Well, if she has an awesome car, why not?"  And suddenly they were talking about their grandparents, and their families, and while it wasn't exactly a romantic conversation, it was ... nice.  It felt less like they were acting, more like they were just two friends out on a date. 

Sadly, the mood didn't last, especially when one of the waiters managed to run into a cameraman and attract the attention of all of the other patrons.  Before Jensen knew it, the stilted conversation and fake romance was back in full force.  "It's pretty special, being here with you," Jared said, as sincerely as possible. 

"I know, I'm a lucky guy," Jensen returned.  He allowed Jared to take his hand and they gazed into each others' eyes for a while.  It was easier than talking, and the truth was, in moments like this, Jensen did see something. 

Dinner was of course exquisite, and Jensen allowed Jared to talk him into trying a decadent chocolate cheesecake for dessert.  "I could even feed it to you," he joked.

Seeing the dismayed look on Jensen's face, Jared quickly backed off.  Although he offered Jensen more champagne, which he gratefully downed.  "Better follow that up with water," Jared insisted, and Jensen couldn't figure out if he was trying to get him drunk and then changed his mind, or what? 

Either way, he excused himself and headed for the restroom.  He'd been in there all of thirty seconds when Jared came crashing through the doors, ripping off his jacket, and holding a finger to his lips as he removed the microphone from his lapel.  "Quick, take it off!" he hissed.

There was something that looked like chocolate sauce all over Jared's jacket, and Jensen was still asking, "What happened?" when Jensen took matters into his own hands and removed Jensen's mike for him. 

"Take your jacket off, put this shirt on," - and that explained the 'man-bag' Jared had been carrying all night, "-and then help me lock the door."

"What's going on?" Jensen hissed, doing as he was instructed.

"Jailbreak!"  Jared grabbed the wastepaper bin and wedged it under the door handle.  "This isn't fun for either of us, right?"

"No, but won't we get in trouble?"  Even as he was protesting, Jared found that he was already shrugging out of his suit jacket and unbuttoning his cuff-links.

"We gave them a romantic date, they can easily make a clip out of that," Jared continued, checking again that the door was wedged shut.  "I figure we have about another two minutes before they come after us."  He closed all the stall doors, saying, "Hopefully they'll just assume we're having sex in here, but you know they'll want to film that too."  He headed to the last stall and from the sound of it, he was opening the window. 

Finished changing, Jensen followed.  He was just in time to see Jared pull his head back through the window.  "Perfect.  I left a box under the window when I was here earlier today, so all you have to do is climb up here and you're free."  He gave Jensen a boost, thrusting Jensen's shoulders through the open window.  A little scrambling and his legs were through too. 

As he dropped onto the ground, Jensen heard climbing behind him and it was seriously funny seeing a man of Jared's height try to squirrel his way through an opening that certainly wasn't designed for humans.  There was a moment when it looked like he would faceplant - Jensen of course was ready to catch him - but Jared recovered his balance and easily landed on the waiting box.  A few more seconds when Jared reached back and closed the window ("No need to make it too obvious how we got out,") and then he picked up the box and sprinted towards a car that was conveniently waiting at the end of the alley.

The door opened and Misha's head popped out.  "You ready?"

"Let's go!"

Jensen had barely closed the car door when Misha took off, and all three men burst out laughing.

"Oh man," gasped Jared, "that was epic!  The look on your face, Jensen!"

Misha was driving like a stunt-man, careening around corners like someone was right behind them.  "I don't think anyone's on our tail, but you can never be too sure," he deadpanned. 

"I can't believe we actually pulled this off!"  When Misha finally slowed down at a traffic signal, Jared leaned through the middle and the two men gave each other a high five.

"Um," said Jensen, now that his heart had stopped racing, "so is this still part of the big romantic date?"

That set them off laughing again, and Jared reached across the back seat to pull Jensen into a side hug.  "Jensen, my man, the night has only just begun."

Misha drove them to a non-descript club and parked the car in a back alley.  "Just in case."

As Misha spoke to the man at the door, Jensen hung back with Jared.  "Really, Jared?"  He didn't quite know what he was asking, it was just... the whole stunt was pure Jared and he still wasn't entirely convinced it had been a good idea.

Jared turned to face him, and put his hands on Jensen's shoulders.  "Jen," he said seriously, "You hated that whole romantic date.  Am I right?"

Jensen could only nod.

"I hated it too.  But every fun idea I had got vetoed by the production staff so that's when I figured we would have two dates - one for _them_ , and one for us."  He nodded to Misha.  "We're just lucky that I have an awesome partner in crime.  There's at least one person on our team!"

Glancing around, Jensen said, "So if this is our second date, do I still have to be romantic?"  He lightly poked Jared in the side.  "Because I can do that, you know."  His mood was a hundred times better already, all because of Jared.

"This night is for you," Jared said sincerely.  "You do what you want."  He paused.  "And if you want to head back to the house, that's okay too.  I know we're breaking the rules."  And it was kind of awesome how well Jared knew him, that he wasn't entirely comfortable with the jailbreak, but...well, they weren't exactly in any danger of losing at this point in time. 

"I don't know," Jensen said, pretending to be serious.  "I mean... it would be kind of stupid..." Jared's face started to fall, "...to not check out this place now that we're already here!"

"That's my boy!" Jared hugged him impulsively, then grabbed his hand.  "Trust me, Jen, you are gonna love this place."

And he did.

It was a quiet bar, dark, with a solo guitarist playing softly in the corner, the type of low-key yet soulful music that Jensen loved best.  Misha got them all drinks - some kind of fruity cocktails in celebration of their great escape - and Jensen didn't even care. They chatted, laughed, and it was just so damn good to finally be able to relax.

Misha had a thousand entertaining stories to tell and Jensen appreciated every one of them.  It finally took the pressure off him and he could just sit back and watch Jared the person instead of Jared the tv persona.  To his relief, he realised they weren't too different.  This Jared smiled just as much, but in a different way. It wasn't the thousand-watt grin, it was something softer, but aimed at Jensen just as much as it was when the cameras were around.

It did strange things to his insides.

"So the president turned around and saw me standing there, like a deer in headlights, and he said, I kid you not, "You're the kid that's here for my job?""

Jared laughed uproarously, and Jensen realised he'd tuned out.  He'd been way too busy appreciating Jared.

"That reminds me of the time when - and don't get too excited, it's not like I have ever been near someone that important - but when my dad got my brother and I tickets to a San Antonio Spurs game - and then told us that we were meeting the team after."

It turned out that all three of them had embarrassing stories involving meeting various celebrities.  "You do realise, that after this show, the two of you will be celebrities yourselves?" Misha told them.

Jared grinned at that, whereas Jensen felt decidedly uneasy.  "Only if we win," he said. 

"Trust me," Misha said, leaning in closer, "you have quite the following already.  When you picked me as your wedding planner, I was thrilled."  He chugged back a shot. "Thrilled, I tell you!  I knew, even after seeing only a couple of episodes, that you guys would be the ones to see it through to the end."

"We're a long way from the end," Jensen warned him.

"Yeah, but have you seen the other teams?" Jared was getting tipsy as well.  "There are maybe two other couples out of the entire bunch of them that even seem believable, let alone have the stamina to survive all this!"

That meant that Jared thought they had real chemistry.  Didn't it? Jared patted him on the thigh, then left his hand there.  It felt warm, comfortable.

"I don't know," laughed Misha, "I think Lydia is going to turn around one day and realise that Stiles is the man of her dreams."

"Yeah, the same time that Stiles realises who his true love really is," shot back Jared.

The two men laughed, and Jensen glanced between them, somehow missing the joke.  Then again, Stiles was on Jared's side of the house, so obviously he knew the man better.

Throwing back his drink, Jensen said, “I don’t know if anyone really came onto this show looking for love.  It just seems so contrived all the time.” 

“I know exactly what you mean, man,” agreed Jared.  “God, it feels so good to be able to come out and say it.  No cameras, no one watching, just me and my bros.”  He was definitely drunk but that somehow made him seem all the more endearing.  “And no offence, Jen, you are wonderful and I would’ve hit on you if we met back in Austin, but under the spotlight it’s a hell of a lot more difficult to know what’s real and what’s not.”

They were staring at each other, and that’s when Misha said, “Well, guys, that’s my cue to get outta here.  You have to figure this out, and I’m not just saying that because I want you to win.”  He placed a warm hand on both of their shoulders.  “I want you guys to be happy and just remember, this show is just temporary.  Don’t let it mess up your entire lives.”  He made a remarkably quick exit, almost like he vanished. 

“I wasn’t really looking for love,” Jensen confessed.  It felt like a huge weight off his shoulders to finally come out and say that.  “I mean, if it happened, it was gonna be a bonus.  But that was never why I was here.”

“I know, Jensen,” Jared replied.  “I feel like I’ve gotten to know you pretty well these last couple of weeks and the man I know, well,” and he adopted a teasing tone now, “is a romantic at heart.  You’re not afraid to love, Jen, but when you do love, you love deeply.  You go all in.”

Staring at his hands, Jensen swallowed.  “I do.”

“And I know you’ll never make it up for the cameras.  So remember, no matter what happens, I’ve got your back.  Hell, Jensen, you know I’m attracted to you.  You’re damn hot, you’re funny, you’re everything a guy could want.  But I know that we’re stuck in this crazy situation and there’s no way I can ever expect you, or even ask you, to be sure of your feelings for me.”

It was true, but suddenly, it sounded so wrong to Jensen’s ears.  Because Jared _got_ him.  Jared understood.  And maybe, in time, that might even mean that Jensen could share his secret with him.  Part of him wanted to already, but he’d made a promise. 

But he wanted Jared to know that he was open to it being real.  That even if the show had never happened, he would’ve dated Jared anyway. 

“I wish I could,” was the only answer he could manage.  “I wish I could be sure.”

“You will be.”  Jared’s answer was full of sincerity, coupled with his blinding smile.  “And if it makes you feel any better, I’m still trying to figure out things too.”  He paused, and a seriously look crossed his face.  Almost like he was about to reveal something important, and suddenly Jensen realised that Jared had secrets too.  Sure, he played up the persona of the hot young actor, looking for his big break, ready to do whatever it took.  Yet there was something more there.  Jared also had a reason for being on the show.

“Do you think life will ever get back to normal after this?”  For the moment, they were safely anonymous.  “Do you think we can ever go back to just being Jared and Jensen?”

“I don’t know.”  Jared drummed his fingers on the table.  “I think this is changing me.  It’s changing all of us. “

“There’s just so much pressure to perform.”  And then Jensen appreciated all over again what Jared had given him, this gift of a night off.  A wonderful escape.  A chance to breathe. “I’m always watching what I say, even where I look, because if I catch sight of Lee in the shower they’ll suddenly make up this whole stupid story of how I’m disloyal to you and got matched with the wrong person and….”  He stopped when Jared put a finger against his lips.  It was surprisingly warm.

“Shhh,” he gently admonished.  “I’m not worried.  You shouldn’t be.  You should just be.”

“Just be?”  Jensen was really liking this quieter, low-key side of Jared.

“Yeah.  I know we don’t have a lot of answers yet, but…we can just be.”

His words were followed by one of Jared’s incredible smiles, and Jensen reached out and placed his hand on top of the other man’s.  “We’re here, and the music’s great, and I like you, do you wanna just forget all of the drama and just chill?”

“Yes,” Jensen replied, his stomach flipping a little.  And oh-so-naturally, their fingers intertwined and they sat there, simply holding hands, as the music played on.   

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Due to unfortunate circumstances, we are sad to announce the early departure of Payson and Sasha.  Therefore, there will be no elimination this week.  The other two bottom teams - Kara and Lee, Cordelia and Xander, you are safe."

"Thank God for that," said Cordelia.  "Although maybe I want to be eliminated.  I don't know how much more of this loser I can take!"  (It was that moment that sealed Cordelia's fate, for she was voted off the very next week.)

The cameras showed a sad montage of Sasha and Payson's relationship.  The high-schooler and the thirty-year-old.  Their first meeting, where it became obvious that Payson suffered from some kind of hero-worship.  (Sasha claimed to have had no idea how young she actually was, and said he was captivated by a sparkling young woman whom he assumed was in her early 20's.)  Their developing friendship where it became obvious to everyone that there was something _real_ between them.

And their first kiss.

"They just fit, you know," Jensen said for the cameras.  "I know everyone thought that kiss was scandalous but Sasha was totally respectful."

"Payson had never fallen in love before," added Dell.  "She was so happy.  She said Sasha was all she had ever dreamed of." 

"He knew she was a virgin and he was okay with that," continued Blair.  "I'm sure he was going to be gentle."

And then a statement from Sasha himself.

"I have had a wonderful time getting to know Payson and I wish her the very best."  He wisely refused to say more than that.

\---

"Man," said Jared later.  "Talk about creative editing."

Because after the kiss had aired, Payson's parents had completely freaked out and showed up to the studio, demanding their daughter back, complete with paperwork to prove that she had faked her age and was actually just seventeen years old and just like that, Payson was off the show.

It was a shame, really.

 ---

 

"I can't believe we lost."  Jared hung his head in his hands, seemingly still stunned.  "We were FUNNY!  How could we lose?"

Jensen picked up his beer and downed it, fast.  "Well, Jared, I get the impression they thought we didn't take it seriously enough."  That was a bit of an understatement.

"I took it VERY seriously!" Jared protested, putting on his 'innocent face'.  "Didn't you see me?  I very seriously asked you to put on that dress!"

"And I very seriously asked you to take it off."

They stared at each other, straight faces, until Jared couldn't keep it in any longer and burst out laughing.  "Man, I cannot wait to see that footage!"

"I'm just mad that you couldn't keep your tux!"

Jared flagged down the waitress, ordering another 2 beers.  "I can't believe they kicked us out!  They were getting free publicity!"

"Yeah, but I don't think that was worth what you were doing to that poor dress."  Smiling, Jensen remembered the announcement that morning for the day's challenge.  "Wedding dress shopping!"

Amidst excited squeals, Jared and Jensen had taken a long, slow look at each other before Jared raised his hand.  "Erm... does that mean that one of us has to wear a dress?"

Alison had just winked at them.  "Boys, it's YOUR wedding.  It's up to you to figure out how you want to put it together!"

And from that, they'd at least headed out with the group, to the part of town known as "wedding central" where there were at least ten different bridal boutiques and countless other stores with a bridal section.

Blair had been grimly determined from the moment the challenge was announced, declaring to Chuck, "This is ridiculous.  No bride can choose a dress in only one day!"  It didn't stop Chuck from giving her a languid smile and saying, "That's because most brides don't have *my* help."

The answer pacified her somewhat.

Jensen had planned to tag along behind the couple, perhaps get some tips, but one glare was all it took for Jensen to seriously rethink that idea.  So the two had found themselves, a little lost, standing outside a boutique that promised everything a modern bride (or groom) would need.

Jared had grinned at Jensen.  Jensen had grinned at Jared.  And they'd proceeded through the doors, ready to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting staff inside.

"Good morning, gentleman.  Can I help you?"  The salesgirl was on them in an instant, a calculating look in her eye.  She looked them up and down, probably trying to figure out if they were hapless groomsmen or a bona fide couple.  The calculating look turned to merely mild surprise (this was LA, after all) when the camera crew came in behind them.

Jensen perused the dresses while the publicist explained the show to the store manager, then pulled out the necessary forms and waivers. The manager didn't seem entirely convinced it was a good thing but luckily one of his staff members was a fan of the show and completely thrilled to have Jared and Jensen there. 

"Where's Misha?" she asked excitedly, proving to Jared and Jensen that their crazy wedding planner had his own following as well. 

"He'll be here later on in an advisory capacity," Jensen answered. 

"They wanted to laugh at us floundering on our own first," added Jared, flashing the assistant a charming grin.  "And since the two of us don't have a lot of practice with dress shopping, do you think you could help us out?"

"Of course!" she said, grabbing one of her voluminous books of styles.  "So were you thinking matching tuxes?  Or did you want individual styles?  Top hats and tails?"

"Actually, Jensen here," and he was unceremoniously pushed forward, "always dreamed of a white wedding."

Jensen shot his cheeky partner a half-worried glance.  "I did?"

"His hips are pretty narrow," Jared continued, resting his hands on them, "so I'm sure he'll fit into a gorgeous dress without too much alteration."

"Woah woah woah," protested Jensen, backing away fast.  "I think we should just look at some styles first.  Some traditionally male styles."  He gave Jared a stern glance.  As much as he adored Jared's antics, if he was actually going to get married, there was no way it would be while wearing an actual dress.

Of course, the moment Misha arrived, all of his protestations were overruled.

"Jared, Jensen.  There's no harm in trying on a dress."  Misha pulled aside Jared and whispered to him frantically and the action caused a prickle of apprehension in Jensen's stomach.  The two of them had been involved in an epic prank war against each other.  What happened when the tides turned and they actually worked together, against Jensen? 

Jared approached Jensen with a conciliatory look on his face.  "I'm sorry, Jen.  If I want you to wear a dress then I should be fully prepared to wear one too.  After all, everything we've seen so far was completely boring."

"But what about the white tux?  That suited you really well!"  Jared had looked almost - godlike - when he'd been wearing it.  And Jensen himself had been partial to something simple, with greys and whites.  He'd vetoed the idea of matching suits early on.

"You never know until you try it!" interjected Misha.  "I never thought I'd get married in a dress but the moment my fiancée saw me in it, she loved it."

Looking up and down at Jared dubiously, Jensen severely doubted that he'd find that attractive.  Well, that wasn't entirely true, he was sure he'd find Jared attractive in no matter what he wore.  (He still hadn't seen Jared any more than shirtless and even that image made it difficult for him to concentrate, and before he knew it, they were heading to the changing rooms, each with a dress especially chosen by the perky sales assistant.

Before he knew it, something white and extremely heavy was being slipped over his head.  “Now I need you to breathe in,” the salesgirl advised, “because this is one of our smaller samples.”

Breathe in?  He already couldn’t breathe!  Jensen wished there were mirrors in the dressing room but apparently you had to step back out in public so that the entire world could capture your “first look”.  He gasped as the assistant added more clips to the back, pulling the waist tighter.  “Okay, honey, you’re all set.  Turn around and come back out here!”

Pushing through the curtain, Jensen shuffled into the main area.  The dress, with its layers of tulle, was ridiculously heavy.  He didn’t know where his feet were.  He took another step forward, caught on the front of the dress, and went flying onto the floor.

Which was exactly how Jared found him five seconds later.  “Jen, I know I look good, but I didn’t think you’d actually swoon!”

Jensen rolled over onto his back, cursing under his breath. How did women walk in these dresses? How did anyone?

“You need some heels!” Misha offered, trying to be helpful.  Jensen gave him a dirty look.  “The extra height keeps the hem off the floor!”

Of course Misha would know. 

Jared, in the meantime, had appropriated two pairs of stockings and was stuffing them down the front of his own dress.  “I have no cleavage in this,” he lamented.  “It looks terrible!”

“Um, sir, I’m not sure….” Interrupted the store manager but Jared completely ignored her.  “I need bigger boobs!”  He started sashaying around the store in search of something else to enhance his figure. 

Jensen was still struggling to sit up as Misha shoved a shoe onto his foot.  He really doubted this would help; he didn’t even know if he could get up with all of this tulle surrounding him.  “A little help here, Misha?”

“Just … a … second…there!”  Misha grunted from somewhere beneath the skirts.  Oh no.  Was that… a garter? 

He tried to protest, but he couldn’t really see what was going on and the salesgirl was busy cooing, “Oh, that perfects the look!  His husband is going to be so excited!”

“Excited by what?”  Jared pranced back over to Jensen’s side, a green feather boa around his neck and a peacock feather in his hair.  “How do I look, my love?”

Jensen had no words.  Jared leaned down to help him, offering him a hand which Jensen gratefully took.  He scooted his feet back towards his butt, to get some leverage and didn’t comprehend the salesgirl saying, “Wait!” before Jared yanked him up.  The high heels being very firmly planted on the skirt of the dress.  The very delicate, very expensive skirt, which couldn’t withstand such an explosive force, and the sound of ripping echoed throughout the boutique.

Misha’s face paled.  So did that of every sales associate.  Jared was still laughing as he tried to dance with Jensen which toppled them both over onto the floor yet again.

It was really no surprise that they got kicked out.

 


End file.
